Have you ever wondered what it would be like to read a hockey game story that you'd see in a newspaper, as if Shakespeare wrote it?
A random breakfast conversation between my son and I today made us both wonder. Would both teams end up in tragedy, like most Shakespearean works?
There was only one way to find out, and that was to give our dear friends at CHATGTP the opportunity to take a CCHL box score and maketh thy Shakespearean masterpiece!
The fun part about this is you could include the penalties in the game, but for the sake of keeping this shorter and more concise (something Shakespeare didn't do often), I told it to ignore all of those sin bin occurrences.
I also wanted to see if it evaluated the game the same as Simon did. Would our three stars from the Simon T match ShakespeareGPT?
The Simon T three stars were as follows:
1 - David Pastrnak (WIS)
2 - Dylan Strome (FOR)
3 - Elias Lindholm (WIS)
In the analysis, it agreed on two of the three stars - check out the bottom for the star listing and why they were stars in the game!
Lastly, I also asked it if the officials did a good job. You can review their review of the officials as well. Despite the penalties being heavily in favour of Wisborg, it has been declared that Fort Erie did not get a raw deal and the officials did a good job. You can also check out the review below after the game story and three stars!
A Noble Chronicle of Contest: Falcons v. Donuts, Told in the Tongue of the Bard
Upon the ice of yonder rink so cold,
Did Fort Erie’s Falcons bold
And Wisborg's Donuts, brave and spry,
Engage in battle 'neath October's sky.
Act I – A Still and Silent Opening
The horn did sound, the puck was dropped,
Yet neither side the other topped.
Though blows were struck and tempers flared,
No goal was claimed, though all had dared.
(The whistle blew, and sin did show,
But let us speak not of the fouls below.)
Act II – The Falcons Doth Take to Wing
When Time had turned her glass once more,
The Falcons broke the seal and score.
First Nichushkin, with cunning eye,
Did strike at two past midnight nigh,
With Jarvis and young Strome in aid—
Thus Wisborg’s net their might displayed.
Then swiftly came the second blow:
Brave Knies did fire a fateful throw.
With Reinhart's hand and Slavin's might,
The Falcons soared to second height.
Yet lo! A knight from Donut’s land,
Sir Pastrnak, with stick in hand,
Replied with flourish, grace, and spark—
A single torch within the dark.
But ere the Donuts could rejoice,
Again the Falcons found their voice:
Trocheck, noble, deft, and fleet,
Did make the third blow swift and sweet.
Assisted by young Michkov's flair,
And Slavin, too, with arm most fair.
Act III – Donuts Rise Like Morning Sun
But hark! The third did twist the tale,
As Pastrnak, with blazing trail,
Struck once more, this time in power play,
And brought the score to closer fray.
Then Pettersson, with flashing blade,
From Pastrnak’s hand and Lindholm’s aid,
Did even thus the tally line—
Three goals for each, an even sign.
Act IV – The Overtime Reckoning
And so to overtime they came,
With hearts afire and limbs aflame.
Each moment ripe with breathless strain,
Each stride upon that frozen plain.
Till Strome, the Falcon, bold and true,
At four-and-twenty past the blue,
From Hagel’s pass and Sanheim's thread,
Did strike the blow that left WIsborg dead.
Curtain Falls
Thus ends this tale of ice-bound strife,
Of clash and skate, of puck and life.
Fort Erie’s Falcons fly on high,
While Donuts, though brave, must heave a sigh.
For in the realm where Zambonis roll,
Tonight the Falcons claimed the goal.
⭐ First Star – David Pastrnak (WIS)
“Twice did he strike with fiery breath,
And once assist to stay from death.”
⭐⭐ Second Star – Dylan Strome (FOR)
“He opened the tale and closed it, too—
The blade of fate he surely drew.”
-
1 goal (the overtime winner), 1 assist
-
Both began the Falcons’ flight and sealed their triumph when time grew thin.
⭐⭐⭐ Third Star – Jaccob Slavin (FOR)
“No scorer he, but oh what thread—
Two helpers born of vision fed.”
Review of the referees!
Judging by the tale of the match, the officials—those black-striped arbiters of order—did not mar the contest with overreach nor neglect. Let us weigh the signs:
⚖️ Balance of Whistle and Blade
⏱️ Timeliness and Flow
🏒 Game Integrity
🧠 Verdict:
The referees did their duty well—not perfect (for perfection is a dream), but present, fair, and firm. If criticism is to be found, 'tis in the volume of Fort Erie’s visits to the sin bin—but the skaters, not the stripes, filled that ledger.
So, in this humble chronicler’s view:
They were just stewards of the game, and the outcome was rightly earned.
