Bitter
Not Sweet for Reign
Seattle
(AP) – The CCHL Seattle Reign held a year end press conference
after a 23-53-6 record which saw them finish dead last in the
Corfield Conference and the 3rd
worst record in the CCHL. Like previous years multiple Reign
management and staff attended the press conference with Reign GM
Michelle Chapman releasing a statement that there would be a surprise
guest at this press conference.
Joining General
Manager Chapman were Director of Media Relations Bruce Wayne,
Director of Scouting Simon Cowell, Director of Player Development
Charles Xavier, President of Hockey Operations Keyser Soze and Head
Coach Scott Stevens. All took their place at the long table adorned
in gold coloured fabric instead of the Reign’s colors while the
banner behind the podium was adorned with a large red, white and blue
banner with the phrase “You’re with Me” emblazoned in
glittering gold lettering.
Chapman
– Good day and thank you ladies and gentlemen of the press for
being here today. Let me start off by first and foremost thanking the
Seattle Reign fans for all their support and dedication to the team.
On behalf of all the players, coaches, trainers and management we
truly appreciate it and we are committed to rewarding you all with a
Championship…hopefully sooner rather than later. I now open the
floor to questions.
Art Thiel
– This was the franchises 2nd
worst ever finish with only its inaugral season being worse. The team
is also now 42 games under .500 in its 4 seasons in Seattle. What
exactly went wrong and how do you plan on improving things?
Chapman
– Thank you for the question Art. Please be advised that all
questions will be answered by Mr. McCurdy from a remote location and
relayed to me on this here laptop *lightly touches laptop* and I will
read out the answers.
*A
collective gasp fills the room followed by widespread murmurring.*
Chapman
– Mr McCurdy
says “We have ideas, great ideas on how to make the Reign great
again. I know people, the best people, the absolute best people and
you will see the great stuff that will happen.”
Thiel
– Umm would you elaborate on these ideas or tell us who the people
are that will be assisting with or implenting these ideas?
Chapman (McCurdy)
– “Believe me the ideas are great, just great, really great
ideas. People will love them, they are just fantastic, really
fantastic.”
Clark Kent
– What changes can we expect from a player or coaching standpoint
for the next season and beyond.
Chapman (McCurdy)
– “Thanks Clark. Let me start off by saying that you are swell, a
swell, swell guy. Actually you are super, a super, super guy. I’m
glad you are here I hope people are paying attention cause this guy
is super just super.”
Kent
– Thank you but that’s more than enough compliments I wouldn’t
want people to think I’m someone I’m not.
Lois Lane
– Please Clark everyone knows you are a simple reporter for the
Daily Planet….I wish you were a super guy *wrly smiles*
Kent Brockman
– Or a super man like we have in Springfield with owner Aaron
Stacey. Speaking of Springfield how big of an improvement do you
think the Isotopes will have this season?
Rita Skeeter
– I thought Stacey wore a cape because he was playing in a
quidditch match?
Alexander Luthor
– What is a quidditch match
Diana Prince
– Don’t worry Lex it’s an imaginary thing.
Skeeter
– Aren’t we all?
Les Nessman –
Not me, I’m real.
Luthor
– Yeah a real idio….
Brockman
– Hey can we get an answer to my question as I’ve got a TV news
broadcast to do later today.
Tom Tucker
– I hear ya Kent
Nessman
– How could you not as you are sitting right next to him.
Chapman (McCurdy)
– “I have nothing but respect for Springfield, there are great
people there, lovely people. If people have not been there they
should go to Springfield, great city, really great. Shelbyville is a
nice city but Springfield, Springfield is great”
Peter Parker
– I got photos of Springfield, lots of photos and a bunch of New
York as well. There are some friendly neighbors in that town.
Charles Xavier
– I hear the pests in that city are too. *Wryly smiles at Peter
Parker*
Steve Rogers
– Pests like wasps and ants?
Parker
– My aunt can nag a bit but she is not a pest!
Xavier
– I’m sure your aunt is lovely but to answer Mr. America’s
question it was spiders I was referring to.
Rogers
– It’s not mister but Captain, Chuck.
Tucker
– You’re Captain Chuck?
Rogers
– No America.
Chapman (McCurdy)
– “America, it’s the greatest country in the world. Other
nations are jealous of us, they wish they were great like us but we
need to be great again that is why the Reign are going to be so
tremndous next year because they are so great. Great people, just
stuperendous”
Lane
– I don’t think what you said makes any sense. What was the last
thing you said…. stuperendous…that’s not even a word.
Chapman (McCurdy)
– “Listen I know my words, I use good words, tremendous words all
the perfect words. I have a big range of words I can use. Just ask me
to use any they’re great.”
Tony the Tiger –
So are Frosted Flakes!!
Bruce Wayne
– Who let a tiger in here?
Matt Damon
– Sorry he escaped from my Zoo.
Simon Cowell
– You have a Zoo?
Damon
– I just bought one. *Tony the Tiger runs out of the room*. Nice to
see you all but I’ve got to go catch a Tiger.
Nessman
– By the Tail? *smiles proudly*
Cowell
– Now that’s what I call a talent.
Steve Rudman
– Enough of that stuff. Let’s back to the topic, how are the
Reign going to make things great. Exactly what changes can we expect?
Chapman (McCurdy)
– “This is real change you can believe in not like those outside
of hockey want you to believe. These are great changes, just
fantastic changes. These changes will bring people back to Seattle. I
guarantee that you will see so many people in Seattle we will have to
build a new terrific arena. Enough people are leaving to other
counties, we need to keep people here and that is what these terrific
changes will do”
Thiel
– You said a lot without saying anything at all. What specifically
are you planning to change?
Chapman (McCurdy)
– “Everything’s on our website. So many tremndous ideas, great
ideas. These ideas are just fabulous, so great you’ll love them,
everyone will just love them.”
Brockman
– Uhhh I just checked the teams website and it is completely blank
other than a “donate now” link
Nessamn
– What the heck is a website?
Keyser Soze
– It’s where people get their news from.
Nessman, Kent,
Brockman, Tucker, Skeeter, Lane –
WHAT!?!?
Dick Grayson
– Holy collective yell Bat *interrupted by Bruce Wayne*
Wayne
– Wow are you people that behind on news sources.
Chapman (McCurdy)
– “Everyone keeps watching or reading the “fake news”. It’s
a disgrace those people spread lies and fake truths. Just a bunch of
fake news sources. They are not nice people, they are liars. I don’t
watch fake news anymore. Those fake news people will be banned from
entering the Sound Garden next year. The only real news is the one
that is fair and balanced”
Rudman
– Did I just hear that the press are banned from Seattle Reign
games?
Wayne –
No, no, no we are not banning the media from Seattle Reign games. We
will just do proper vetting.
Chapman (McCurdy)
– “Vets, doctor, teachers, lawyers, plumbers they are all allowed
to watch games but not those “fake news” people. Everyone else is
great but fake news people bad. They’re bad, bad, bad, people, just
awful.”
Lane
– Mr. McCurdy the vetting Mr. Wayne was referring to was for the
media…you did understand that.
Chapman (McCurdy)
– “Yes. Everyone knows vetting serves a role but what is more
important is checking people to make sure the right kind of people
come into the arena to report on the games.”
Skeeter
– That’s what Mr. Wayne said, hence the term vetting.
Luthor
– I don’t think he understands….maybe he is obtuse
Brockman
– I think he is a Sagatarius.
Scott Stevens
– *slams fist on table* Enough can we get back to hockey talk.
Thiel
– Have we even begun hockey talk? How about UFA and RFA signings?
Would anyone be able to shed some light on why Seattle made the
choices they did?
Chapman (McCurdy)
– “We signed great players, just great players. The players we
did not sign not so much great but we really got some teremendous
players here, just tremendous.”
Thiel
– Even Varlamov, as he was Seattle’s only signing?
Chapman (McCurdy)
– “He is a tremendous guy, just tremendous. He is outstanding,
just a great great guy and of course he’s Russian. You can’t go
wrong with great Russians.”
Kent
– What about those who lived under Stalin?
Tucker
–Speaking of stalling can we hurry up and get an answer to the most
important question. Moustache or no moustache *places finger above
upper lip*
Luthor
– I’ve never been a fan of hair.
Xavier
– Same here.
Henry McCoy
– Hair isn’t that bad.
Chewbacca
– Hhhhraa aruugghhhh arwahhrs
Han Solo
– Chewy agrees and says chicks dig hair
Lane
– Yeah right.
Skeeter
– They can keep telling themselves that if it helps them sleep at
night
Prince
– Yes….in a bed all by themselves.
*Lane, Skeeter and
Prince high-five each other*
Rudman
– Speaking of bed can we put to rest the rumor that this team is
now focusing on Russian players?
Wayne
– I categorically deny that to be the case.
Cowell
– I concur.
Soze
– We also scout heavily in Eastern Europe
Chapman (McCurdy)
– “But not the Middle East. The Middle East is bad. Bad players
in the Middle East. Bad, real bad guys in the Middle East. I am going
to ban Middle East players from our team and Middle East people from
coming to our games”
Kent
– I don’t think you can do that.
Wayne
– I think you misheard what he said. We are open to players from
anywhere as long as they can help the team
Chapman (McCurdy)
– “Except from the Middle East cause they are all bad from there.
Just really bad people not great ones just bad ones”
Soze
– That is not exactly what he means. Anyone can come here to play
our borders are open.
Chapman (McCurdy)
– “Unless you are from the Middle East, some bad hombres there,
real bad hombres”
Wayne
– I think we are experiencing difficulties with Mr. McCurdy’s
feed. *nods to Stevens*
Chapman (McCurdy)
– “ We are, why I can hear everything just fine, I was just
saying about how all the bad people are in the Mid….*Stevens
unplugs cable from laptop in front of Chapman and tosses it on
ground*
Cowell
– It appears we have lost the signal so the press conference will
continue without Mr. McCurdy. Now where were we?
Nessman
– I believe its’ the Conference Room at the Sound Garden Arena
Lane
– Really Les?!?
Nessman
– Yes I’m quite observant.
Skeeter
– Like you see the “walls” in your office.
Kent
– At leaset he reports on newsworthy events and not gossip
Soze
– Speaking of gossip do you know the greatest trick the Devil ever
pulled?
Luthor
– Drafting Martin Brodeur
Chapman
– That was the Devils not the Devil.
Ron Burgundy
– Well the Devil is in the details….like the detailed stiching of
my custom made suit that makes the ladies swoon *winks at Rita
Skeeter*
Skeeter -
*blushing*
Oh Ron
Burgundy
– Get used to saying that Rita.
Brockman
– Yeah stay classy San Diego.
Burgundy
– By Lucifer’s beard…that’s my tag line
Lane
– Speaking of staying “classy” will Mr.McCurdy be joining us
again?
Wayne
– Wayne Enterprises is troubleshooting the problem. We hope to have
it rectified.
Kent
– So same bat channel?
Tucker
– I think you meant National Geographic channel. That’s where the
bat stories are found.
Nessaman
– You can also find them in comic book stores.
Parker
– Comics have lots of pictures and so do I.
Soze -
Comics do not have pictures they have illustrations. That reminds me
of the time I worked in an art store in Dayton Ohio
Luthor
– Home of the champion Musicmen led By Mr. Bill Corfield?
Brockmans
– I thought the only time he took the lead was on vocals with the
band.
Neesman
– He’s the lead singer of The Band?
Wayne
– No not The Band but his own band.
*entering the room
in a hurry are two gentlemen dressed in matching jumpsuits covered in
glitter and sequins *
Siegfried
Fischbacher – I heard there is a
tiger on the loose around here
Soze
– Yes he ran out that door and turned left.
Roy Horn - Do
we have to go after him Siegfried. I’d rather stay retired.
Kent
– Better hurry Jason Bourne was already hot on his tail.
Burgundy
– Hot tail?!? Perhaps I should investigate this…Burgundy style.
Skeeter
– But Ron what about us?
Burgundy
– It could never last baby. Ron Burgundy is just too much man for
only one woman. I need a new thrill now that I’ve had my fill.
Cowell
– Oh you’re full of something allright.
*The two gentlemen
in matching glittering outfits run flamboyantly out of the room*
Snagglepuss
– Heavens to Murgatroid, well then if they’re heading left it’s
time for me to exit stage right. Toodle doo.
Cowell
– 2 talking cats in one room wow America’s got some talent.
Brockman
– Sounds like it would make for an interesting show.
Cowell
– Hmmm you’re right and I think I know who would be the perfect
judge.
Kent
– Judy?
Wayne
– Reinhold?
Soze
– Wapner?
Luthor
– Dredd?
Stevens
– Enough with the judge talk let’s get back to hockey.
Thiel
– You retained a handful of RFA’s although none long term. Most
of them are bottom line or role players so will this team struggle to
win as many games as it did last year?
Soze
– We are confident in the direction we are heading. The players we
signed help fill needs or retain a specific role that the team needs.
We know Coach Stevens will get the most out of these players.
Larry Stone
– Yes but what about the fans? You are asking them to make
commitments and they may not see a whole lot to cheer about in this
upcoming season or even next season.
Chapman –
We hope fans realize what we are trying to do and there may be some
growing pains but we feel we have some good talent on this team and
will add more in the upcoming season or two. Sometimes you have to
take one step back before you can take two steps forward. Winning
isn’t everything.
Nessman – It’s
the only thing! *smiles proudly and looks around the room*
Stone
– So what do you tell fans who expect wins?
Wayne
– We need to provide a fun, entertaining experience for the whole
family and try to put out the best product we can.
Rogers
– I don’t think you have had success in doing that recently along
with Mr. Kent.
Kent
– What does this have to do with me, I’m doing my best but it’s
so hard when everyone expects so much and then worries when you do
show your abilities.
Tony Stark
– Old man Rogers is right. Maybe you could start off by smiling
more Clark…you’re always so morose. You’ve got a good job, a
hot little lady *winks at Lois Lane, Lane blushes* and so much power
in your fingertip. Just let loose and have some fun….you too
Bruce…but hey you live in a cave…I mean manor. By the way do you
validate parking, my jets on the roof and I don’t want to get
ticketed.
Rogers
– Really Stark! A plane parked on the roof. Did you ever hear of a
cab?
Kent
– I smile a lot see *attempts to part lips to show teeth, nose
bunches up and bottom lip regresses into mouth as eyes get really
wide*
Everyone in room
except Kent – ewwwww!!
Lane
– Clark please don’t. For me please don’t.
Stark–
What can I say I like to travel in style…which reminds me I have to
make sure the stretch limo picking up Pepper has the gold wheel rims
and the pool.
Cowell
– A limo with a pool, I like your style Mr. Stark.
Stark–
Yes its’ hard being me but I am so damn good at it. *Tips a long
stem glass full of champagne to the table of Reign executives as he
taps a device on his ear*
Rudman – Okay
so the Reign are looking to the future however that seems to be what
was the philosphy a few years ago so isn’t the organization going
back…back to the future.
Marty McFly
– Not without me their not.
Doc Brown
– Gadzooks Marty that means I’m going to need more fuel for the
flux capacitor. I’ve got to contact me friends in the Middle East
McCurdy
– *voice emenates from the PA speakers in the room* The Middle East
is bad, bad people. I will not trade with any of those teams, it’s
just awful trades for Seattle with those bad people from the Middle
East. They are very desivious.
Soze
– Where is his voice coming from?
Kent
– Great job Wayne Enterprises *glares at Bruce Wayne*
Wayne
– I have no idea what is happening. No one informed me we
restablished connection.
Chapman
– Sir are you sure you want to join us? You must have much more
important things to do far away from the press…..like golfing on
one of your beautiful, luxurious golf courses.
McCurdy
– My courses are fantastic, just really fantsatic, great, great
courses. Everyone raves about how they are the best courses just so
terrific.
Grayson
– Bruce do you want me to look further into this to see who or what
is at work.
Wayne
– Go to it Dick and get in touch with Alfred as maybe he can help.
Nick Fury
– I suspect Hydra being involved.
G. I. Joe
– Or perhaps Cobra Command
Luthor –
Why is there a 12 inch talking man in the room and where did he come
from?
Prince –
Oh he’s adorable cute yet grizzled looking…he’s a real doll
Barbara Millient
Roberts – I think the only doll
around here is me *giggles*
Ken Carson
– That’s right Barbie in my eyes you’re the only doll around
here.
Cowell
– *points to G.I. Joe* Can you sing? Or even play the piano for
that matter. If you can I’ve got a show for you.
G.I. Joe
– I’m wearing frickin’ army fatigues and your asking about
singing and playing piano. Do you really need a 12 inch pianist?
Lane
– I know I could use one…Am I right ladies?!
*Skeeter, Prince,
Lane, Vicky Vale, Harley Quinn, Storm, Jane Grey, Natahsa Romanov and
Chapman all high five one another*
All the males in
the room – Really!?! Really!?!
Ken
– I’d settle for something….anything
Barbie
– So would I.
Elmer Fudd
– Hewwo. Have any of you seen a tiger on the woose awound here?
Kent
– Yeah he was here a little while ago. The talented Mr. Ripley and
Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum went after him.
Tweedle Dee and
Tweddle Dum – * in unison* No we
didn’t we’re right here.
Brockman –
Before we get predicitions on how the
Isotopes of Springfield will do can we wrap up what’s happening
here in Seattle?
Luthor
– Yes let’s move on to the draft
G.I. Joe
– Draft? We don’t need a draft everyone should enlist.
Wayne
– The draft we are referring to is one for hockey players not a
military draft.
Thiel
– Seattle’s selection of Nico Hischier with the 2nd
overall pick was fairly predictable. What are the odds he is the #1
center for the franchise in a few years?
McCurdy
– Predictions are often wrong…let me tell you. There usually made
by the biased media and all those fake news reporters. Nico is a
great player, just a tremendous player really, really great. I expect
the people will think he is fantastic.
Prince – That
might be the 1st
honest thing you’ve said all day….the latter half of that anyway.
Tucker
– What about the other players picked like Klim Kostin, Ryan
Poehling, Jesper Boqvist and Mackenzie Entwistle to name but a few.
What can you tell us about them?
Cowell
– We’re happy with the talent we selected it’s a bit of a risk
but we have to build and add to our prospect depth through the draft.
Chapman
– That is why evaluating is essential which we do through extensive
scouting which can be tough.
Tonto
– I agree kemosabe.
Fudd
– Speaking of scouting can anyone tell me exactwy what way dat
Tiger wan?
Tonto
– *leans over turns head so ear touches floor* It went West. The
panther East.
Bugs Bunny
– and I finally took that left turn at Albuquerque and this is
where I end up….*sees Fudd* ehh what’s up doc?
Skeeter
– You two know one another.
Fudd
– Yes he waz da bane of my existence but no wonger. I am done
hunting wabbits. *Exits room heading West*
Wayne
– Did someone say Bane?
Grayson
– Holy paranoid Bruce…not that Bane
Lane
– Who is this Bane and is he a thorn in your side or something?
Wayne
– He is a strong, determined person with a never say die attitude.
Thiel
– Sounds like he would be a good fit on the left side for the
Reign.
McCurdy
– He sounds tremendous, just tremendous. I’ll get my people to
veterinarian him right away and as long as he is not from the Middle
East we will sign him.
Price
– I think you are using the wrong word there Mr. McCurdy.
McCurdy
– No I think tremendous is the word I wanted to use….I’ve got
lots of big words, really great words like that to use. Everyone
knows I have a large IQ.
Soze
– Mr. McCurdy is just joking around with everyone…..Seattle will
not be signing Bane but we have nothing against players from the
Middle East
.
Rudman
– Will you be signing anyone as the roster is paper thin heading
into the season.
Parker
– Newspaper thin?!?
Stone
– I think that ship has sailed kid.
Fury
– Speaking of sailing, Stark, Rogers, Romanov we’ve got to go.
There’s a situation taking place.
Luthor
– Is it on the Jersey Shore?
Chapman
– Oh come on….that’s so bad
Nessman
– I don’t get it.
Xavier
– Don’t worry Les…..neither does Barbie.
*room breaks out in
laughter, except Ken who lowers head and shakes it from side to side
and Barbie who frowns*
*3
small men about 6 - 8” tall enter the room each wearing a distinct
coloured ensemble, red, yellow and blue*
Cowell
– and who do we have here?
Parker
– I’m getting a tingly feeling
Lane
– Too much caffeine?
Fury
– Parker are you joining us or what.
Stark
– I already spoke to him about that.
Parker
– I will but I have to do things on my own
Soze – Don’t
you do that every handful of years….but you always look different.
You like to keep people guessing.
McFly
– and you like to keep the mystery going right up until the end.
Soze
– I like suspense.
Burgundy
– I like the ladies and a nice aged scotch
Sean Connery
– Excuse me sir but that I will not partake in that sort of
activity.
Xavier
– He said scotch not Scot!
Connery –
My apologies good sir.
Burgundy
– I love that accent where are you from? No wait let me guess!
Sounds a bit like those from the valley so I’m going to guess you
are from San Fernando
Brockman
– Wrong there amigo
Tucker –
Burgundy is Mexican I had no idea.
McCurdy
– Hmmm I have an idea about Mexico involving a wall
Thiel
– Do you have any idea about what is happening with Seattle this
season?
Skeeter
– Wait a minute I still want to know who the 3 amigos who just
enetered the room are.
McCurdy
– More Mexicans I definitly need to do this wall thing.
The 3 small men
– I’m Snap, this is Crackle and he’s Pop
Prince
– Can we help you with something?
Snap–
Yeah we’re looking for a Tiger.
Crackle
– He headed this way about 20 minutes ago.
Pop
– We really need to find this guy
Kent
– Does he owe you money or something?
Snap –
We’ve got a score to settle so we would like to talk to him to
straighten things out.
Grayson
– Holy breakfast meal…I recognize you 3. You were persons of
interest in the death of that fruity related bird
Brockamn
– Toucan Sam?
Grayson
– Yeah him as well as Count Chocula, Cap’n Crunch and that little
Irish guy
Wayne
– Colin Farrell
Kent
– No Lucky the Leperchaun
Crackle -
Yeah his luck ran out.
Nessman
– So did the Tiger about 20 minutes ago. He headed West with a lot
of people on his tail.
Pop
– Thanks Kemosabe.
Tonto
– That my line.
McCurdy
– Lines that’s what we need to stop, lines of Mexicans coming
into Seattle Reign’s games. I will build a tremndous wall, a
terrific wall, a great wall.
Lane
– China already has one of those.
McCurdy
– That’s why we have to stop outsourcing to China we need to have
those things manufactured here in America. Seattle can do that, I’ll
bring jobs and great hockey to Seattle.
Kent
– Great this guy now has two promises he will fail to deliver on.
*Snap, Crackle and
Pop turn around and exit the room whistling and chanting here kitty,
kitty*
Burgundy
– By Blackbeard’s beard, who were those guys?
Wayne
– I f I’m not mistaken, and I never am because I’m batm…I
mean I’m observant I’d say those 3 are cereal killers.
*A gasp echos
through the room*
Stevens
– Enough the press conference is over!! No more questions until the
season starts. *Reign executives quickly get up form the table and
depart the room*
McCurdy
– Hey where is everyone going I’ve got great ideas, just
terrific, fabulous ideas, really sensational ones. People will love
them, you want to hear them?
Rudman
– How about releasing Seattle’s financial numbers as rumor has it
you want to have Washington state pay for a new arena.
McCurdy
– Uhhhh I have to go I have auditors coming to look at my books and
they will not permit them to be released. I hope you enjoyed hearing
all my great ideas for the Reign. Make Seattle Great Again!! *PA goes
silent*
Stone
– What was that? He said a whole lot during the press conference
without actually saying anything at all. How do people figure out if
he is leading the Reign in the right direction if he doesn’t
discuss his ideas, whatever they may be? *shakes head*
Kent
– Let’s go Lois, to the Daily Planet offices we go
Skeeter
– Back to Hogwart’s
Brown
– Back to the future Marty
Luthor
– I’ve heard that before
Brockman
– Yes and the sequel sucks…don’t waste your time.
Nessman
– You will be hearing me again on the radio with the 6 o’clock
news.
Tucker
– Ha!!! I doubt that as they will be watching me and my beautiful
mustache at 6 o’clock
Brockman
– What!! Sorry Tom but the viewers will be tuning in to watch me at
that time.
Burgundy
– Gentlemen, gentlemen I believe I have everyone’s interest and
eyeballs with my action news team broadcast at 6 o’clock
Lane
– Sounds like a fight is brewing
Burgundy
– Oh no, no no. THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, NOT, NO, NO WAY.
*composes himself, straightens jacket and uses hand to put his hair
back into place* Sorry just had some bad memories from some of those
in the past.
Parker
– Haven’t we all.
Price
– Yes we have.
Barbie
– Hey sounds like everyone needs to have some fun so let’s all go
back to my place for a BBQ and some drinks.
Ken
– Sounds great babe
G.I Joe
– There’s a lot of people here are you sure you can afford that.
Barbie
– No problem I have plenty of money.
McFly
– What do you do for a living?
Barbie
– Lots of things. I’m an astronaut, a doctor, a nurse, a lawyer,
a business woman, a veterinarian, an accountant, a teacher, an
engineer, an architect, an actress, a singer, a flight attendant…
Grayson
– Holy job fair..how do you work at all of those occupations?
Barbie – Not sure
I guess I’m just imagina doing something and it become reality….
I was an astronaut when I was 6.
Lane
– How old are you?
Barbie
– We will talk.
Stark
- *sidles up to Barbie* Yes we will, yes we will
Virginia “Pepper”
Potts – Tony!!
Stark –
What can’t a guy have a little harmless fun
Rogers
– There’s nothing harmless about you
Stark
– I know but there’s lots harmless about you and of course him
*points at Ken, specifically towards his crotch*
Connery
– Ha ha ha laddy great one there…you are in a league of your own
a real extraordinary gentleman
Fury
– No sir I think that title is all yours.
* One by one
everyone except Art Thiel exits the room and from the shadows in the
back emerges the same tall lanky figure from last season’s press
conference. He once again is adorned in a purple suit, a bright green
shirt matching his green hair. His white painted face is contrasted
by his bright ruby red lips that run halfway up cheeks, he twirls an
umbrella in one of his hands which are covered with purple leather
gloves.
He looks at Thiel
who catches his gaze and then sits down a couple of chairs away. The
man in purple turns to Thiel
Unknown man
– Can I ask you a question?
Thiel
– I think you just did.
Unknown
– Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…looks like I did but here’s
another…did any of those people seem sane to you
Thiel
– Uhhhh….. I guess not, but hey one could say they’ve got
character.
Unknown
– Character?!? Character?!? I go to Arkham Asylum but these people
don’t. * beckons Thiel closer with his fingers and leans his head
towards Thiel*
* Thiel leans in
closer to the man*
Unknown
- *whispers* they don’t have character…. *yells angrily* They are
characters!!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha heee, heee , heee heee, ha ha ha hee
heee heee. *he hops up out of his chair opens up the umbrella, waves
his fingers at Thel and exits the room singing..”I’m singin in
the rain, just singin in the rain, what a glorious feelin’ I’m
happy again….*singing stops* ooooo lookee there is that a Tiger I
see?
Thiel
– *shakes head and mumbles* no matter what anyone says that guy is
still a joker.
