In its first report to the Supreme State Soviet for Sport and Physical Education, the Director of the Soviet Wings of Moscow hockey club reports as follows:
1) Team performance has so far exceeded expectations. The club is effectively designed to build through the draft and peak in the future, but our socialist collective of downtrodden veterans and eager youth has banded together to achieve surprising excellence early in the 2021-22 hockey season;
2) Chief reason for success is top-of-league powerplay, whereby we have been able to apply socialist principles to reach unprecedented achievement in the field of excellence;
3) Otherwise, our underlying stats suggest a middling to below average record, so I wish to emphasize that any future struggles would be indicative of a regression to the mean, rather than any flagging of socialist spirit;
4) The goaltending looks to be an achilles heel, as the reins are in the hands of an aging veteran and a once-starring drunkard. We will do what we can - perhaps Anton can still recall the young pioneer spirit of his youth;
5) Andrew Copp is a young communist who has led the collective in all situations. We have received numerous trade offers for him from the capitalist lackeys, but they have all been laughably inadequate so far. Unless we are overwhelmed with an offer, Comrade Copp will continue as our team leader during the transition.
Bolshevik Borsch
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