AP Hamilton:
The ownership group in Hamilton has called a press conference. Group spokesman Steve Smith (TV’s Red Green and longtime Hamilton resident) has not yet taken the stage and there is an electric atmosphere. A man in a tweed suit that went out of fashion when Trudeau the elder was still Prime Minister is almost dancing in place. George Weston having faced his demons and gone to rehab was given his job back as CCHL beat reported for the Hamilton Spectator. Most in attendance believe that this press conference is being held to relieve GM Taylor of his duties before the option year of his contract kicks in. Weston is almost vibrating with happiness and the other reporters are giving him a wide birth.
A smattering of applause as a very familiar beard comes from behind the black curtain.
“Well uh, welcome everyone. We here are Possum Lodge, I mean the Hamilton Tigers Hockey Club (polite little laugh) are here today to make an important announcement about the future direction of hockey operations.
Weston is almost dancing.
“We’re here to formally announce the extension of GM Taylor’s contract until the end of the 2019-2020 season”
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A somewhat muffled scream comes from Weston.
Taylor walks out from behind the black curtain. In almost WWE style “Enemy” by Days of the New plays as he gains the podium.
“Yes everyone I am here to stay. The rebuild program is a little behind schedule but our youngsters are maturing and we are well on our way to being the Juggernaut I promised you 5 seasons ago. I have a couple announcements to make. We are currently negotiating with several CCHL GM’s to bring in a high profile UFA and should be making an announcement about that in the next 48 hours. We have after careful deliberation decided that interim head coach Kirk Muller will not be returning in that role next season. Kirk has been promoted to Assistant General Manager here in Hamilton and GM of our farm club the Mooretown Comets. Kirk will split his time and learn the ropes.”
Looking directly at a still nearly frothing Weston.
“You never know he might take my job in a few YEARS. This is the year we go from rebuilding to rising to the top of the CCHL standings. Our goal for next season is to make the playoffs. We have a group of youngsters like Max Domi, & Darnell Nurse that are ready to make the jump, Kirby Ryckel and Nick Ritchie on the cusp and guys like Boone Jenner and Ryan Murray, Ryan Spooner & Matt Dumba who have finally(and he emphasizes the word with a little exasperation) matured into the players we knew that could be. The search is on for a new head coach and we will make an announcement on that before the draft. If anyone is interested I have been in contact with other CCHL GM’s about the possibility of dealing the #1 overall pick. Just so everyone knows it will take a heck of an offer to make anything happen. Most likely you will see Austin Mathews in a Tigers uniform in the future.“
Weston looking at Steve Smith… “What… How could you??? CLOWN SHOES!”
With that Weston stomps out. Taylor looks around.
“Does anyone have any actual questions?”
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