With the Ronin finally getting off the snyde a press conference was scheduled by team management. Yet the podium remained empty for some time. With but a few members of the press remaining the door to the locker room opened and out stepped team captain Jamie Benn.
“Hello everyone and thanks for coming,” he said. “Nobody on the team expected us to come out so poorly to start this season. As captain, I felt it my responsibility to come out here and first of all thank the fans for coming out to see us. Its been a tough haul and although there were some things we wanted to say, I felt it best to wait until the team actually had a win before going on record.”
“The team wants to express our thanks for former assistant captain Wayne Simmonds. He was an important part of what we are trying to do here in Western BC but like most things in sport these days there was a time to move on. We wish him the best. We also want to welcome the newest member of the team David Savard who just played a heck of game in overcoming one of the top teams in the league in the Puffin. It was also great to see Braden Holtby despite wearing another sweater. He is a great netminder and we hope to play against him in the future despite rumors from Puffin management that Andersen was supposed to be in nets for this game.”
“This season is going to be a challenge for us as a team, and for the fans who have supported the team since its inception back in Mexico City. We know that many still support us down in Cuidad de Mexico and we want to say gracias to all of them. We are a proud bunch here in the greater Victoria area and nobody wants to win for them more than we do.”
“While I cannot promise anything after the poor initial results we hope to show you, the fans, of our intention to give our best out there. The team has gone with an increased physical presence which we hope will result in more wins throughout this season and going forward. So thank you all for coming and assistant bucket cleaner Donpaulo Canosa will now take your questions.”
Mr. Canosa comes out from behind a curtain to the sound of crickets. “Well, it appears there aren't any questions so perhaps we will go to our team website and see if anyone has something to say. Let's see here,” as he fumbles with his laptop.
'The team sucks and so does ownership', hmm perhaps best we do not publish that one. Here is another 'When will team improve its woeful goaltending?'. That's a good question and one I want to answer here and now. The Ronin have complete confidence in Steve Mason and believe he can help lead us to be an improved team. Perhaps the coach can be a little more specific but apparently, he went to a bar and is drinking by himself. I can say without hesitation that there are some promising kids in the pipeline with the youngster Saros playing in daily practice sessions with the team. We hope to bring him along and provide the team with a healthy competition in nets.”
“Here is another comment. 'You made my kid cry, watch your back around town buddy!. Alrighty well, that appears to be about it for today, thank you for coming and we will see you next time. Go Ronin!”
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